Why We Did It

     ?
     That was my first thought.  But there was more to it than a don't know.  I figure the buck stops at WWII.  That's when we began the draft that lasted for a little more than thirty years.  And so did a mindset about what was right and what was expected of a young man in relation to the Cold War.  'Cause that's what we were in, a war that wasn't all that hot.  Both in guns and in my opinion.  Don't get me wrong, back then I thought that standing up to the Soviet Union was the right thing to do.  And still do.  But the crux of the matter was the whole thing sucked to high heaven.
     You see, we were at war with the USSR and they were at war with us.  But nary a bullet was fired. Dear Lord, there was no way in hell we could actually duke it out with each other.  The hydrogen bomb said no to that.  A war between the two or us meant world destruction in about the time it took to get in a round of golf.  Couldn't have that.  Coca Cola had to have people around so they could sell some soda pop and make a buck.  Just my way of saying it wouldn't be much of a world to live in if there was no one left to live in it.
     In their own, weird, dictatorial way, neither could the Soviet Union fire up the big one.  Without a world to dominate they'd have no reason to go on.  Someone, could have been Kurt Vonnegut, said that should there be a war after the armageddon, it'd be fought by cock roaches and gonorrhea.  Don't know which side I'd have been on.
     The one thing I know for sure was we made it through those forty-five years without an h-bomb being dropped out of anger anywhere, except in my dreams.  And that happened regularly.
     Instead, the two powers did some shadow boxing, maybe pound on a sparring partner now and then just to keep in shape.  The Reds would stick their noses into other people's affairs, get 'em riled up about revolution and whatnot.  And if we thought they were going too far, we'd send a few hundred thousand young men with short hair over to straighten out those hot to trot third worlders.  Or at least give it a try.
     Did it all work out?  Don't know.  Did us Yankee Doodlers make the right decisions and fight all the right wars?  Probably not.  But whichever war we chose, be it for true liberation or simple meddling, it sure beat fighting the Russians.
     Since we were in that Cold War from the day Churchill gave his Iron Curtain speech at Woody Allen's bar mitzvah, we kept the draft going.  We didn't know when those crafty Reds would come storming across Europe so we kept a couple of million men in uniform with the idea of not lettin' them get the jump on us.  And that meant an eternal blizzard of letters that said Greetings from the President of the United States.  
     So, eventually I volunteered for the draft.  Like I said earlier, I'd found my life dead-ended and the draft was my way to clear the slate.
     Also, in the years in which I grew up, most of my friends had pictures on their pianos, mantels, or walls showing young men in uniform.  I went because Mr. Magnuson went, Mr. Kelly went, Mr. Keiser went, Mr. Mayne went, Mr. Johnston went, and Mr. Guanella went ( all dads were called Mr. back then).  Also, of my friends, Dave went, Tim went, Larry went, Darrell went, Rob went, Greg went, and Don went.  Christ, nearly every one of my friends was in some form of uniform before me.
     Most of all, my dad and brother both did their time.  Serving two or more years in the military was just something you did back then.
     So that's why I was in the Army.  That I was in the infantry was another matter.  Let's say I didn't think the whole thing through before before I start yelling, "Take me! Take Me!"
     As to why the United States was in Vietnam, well, I could give a brief history of the area but that wouldn't tell it like it really was.  It was a simple case of getting in a war that was unwinable.  Guess we didn't think the whole thing through before we jumped in to take over after the French were kicked out at Dien Bien Phu.  Steppin' in as we did, we might've had the mindset that the French lost 'cause they were the French.  On the other hand, we were Americans and had not only never lost a war but sure as hell weren't gonna lose one to a bunch of little rice eaters.
     So it looks like both me and The United States had severe cases of cranial-rectal insertion problems concerning the whole affair.  Just one man's opinion.