Dear John

     Nothin' adds an endearing touch to, "Honey, I've been drafted, see you in a coupla years," like the followup from the honey, "Dear John, I don't ever want to see you again."
     Basic Training was fertile ground for those letters.  All the way from Mike Ring who balled his eyes out to Dick Sweet - not kiddin' that was his name - who got two in one day, laughed, and posted them on the bulletin board.  A dozen or so of them in one week led to one of the Trainee Squad Leaders, Connie as I recall, bellowin' out one evening, "Dear F###in' John, Don't write me no f###in' more."  Nothin' more need be said on the subject (except, once again I'm havin' problems with the F in FTA).
     Till AIT when another Trainee Squad Leader gave the reverse.  His version of a Dear Joan.  He'd been home on leave over Christmas and goin' through the outs with his wife who he didn't seem to like much anymore.  Seemed she was in a lovin' mood one day and he was havin' nothing to do with her affections.  His words, "Well, you know where it is.  Please wash it off when you're done."  
     A man just can't make that kind of stuff up.  Well, I could but there's no need.  As to the guy who spoke the words, who knows?
     For whatever reason, by the time troops reached Vietnam, those kind of letters ended.  Guess all the weedin' out was done in the first coupla months.  Besides, it wouldn't have been deemed proper for a stateside lady to dump a guy who was in combat.  Just not nice.