The Infamous Lundsford Affair

     Outside of the fact we were facing to the rear of the plane 'cause that's the safe way to fly it was just like any other commercial flight without stewardesses and liquor. 'Course the metal and nylon webbed seats were extra special. I figured they made us face to the rear so there'd be less chance of gettin' our heads stuck up our's or anyone else's ass should we crash. I know that sounds like no big deal 'cause you'd be dead whether or not your head was up your ass or not but in my book that's a whole lot worse than bein' caught dead with dirty underwear. Outside of that, not a whole lot happened on the way to Hawaii beside our stop in Okinawa or Guam or some other place on which we had no reason to have an Air Force base. Unless of course we stuck ourselves into a land war in Asia which nobody in their right mind would ever do. That's when we came upon a plane load of Marines fresh out of training and on their way to where we'd just left.
     Now that's kind of funny in itself. We were on the way to the world 'cause the U.S. was pullin' out of Vietnam and their plane load of cannon fodder was on their way in. Something about that strikes me as a little strange. We were baggin' the whole thing yet these dudes were on their way into a one in ten chance of dyin'. Maybe one of 'em would be the last American to bite the dust in Indochina.
     And each and everyone one of 'em looked a little scared. Probably just like I'd looked five months earlier.
     None of us made a move to harass the jarheads. We knew the score. Then Lundsford, the company mascot 'cause he was a peril to each of us who patrolled the Delta with him, friendly fire in boots, walks right up to 'em with a grin on his face:
     "Howdy boys. I suspect you're on your way to Vietnam. You look scared and I sure don't blame ya. Ya got good reason to be scared. I know, I been there. By the way, when ya get there, whatever ya do, don't let the little man catch ya half-steppin' or he'll do ya a natural born J O B."
     Then turned and walked back to us. There was a moment's vacuum sucking the air out of the room, immediately followed by a roar of hysterical laughter from each of us who'd been in Bravo Company. Couldn't have picked a better man or more perfect phrase. Three cliches in one sentence. As far as I knew those cliches were Bravo Company's alone. Probably not but let me live in my dream world.